Writer's Doubt

I am participating in a Writing Contest: Overcoming Writer's Doubt held by Positive Writer
http://positivewriter.com/writing-contest-doubt/

You see I am new to this arena. This playground know as writing. So writers doubt hits and hits me hard. Doubt affects me each time I sit down to write. As if it were my best friend. Knock, Knock...who's there...Doubt. I mean really. I knew this was going to be hard, but c'mon give me a break.

It causes me to just sit there and stare. Anxious. Frozen. An alliances found but not wanted. As if my mind has left the building. I hear the echo between my ears as the wind blows. Minutes go by. Nothing. Its like walking into the grocery store to get a few items only when stepping through the sliding doors, my mind wiped clean. I handled combat in the Persian Gulf better than this. Missiles flying everywhere as if it were the 4^th July, guys moving about as if their head was cutoff and I maintaining the ships position. But this is on a whole other level. Like addressing a golf ball for the first time, not a positive thought to be found. Nothing to lean on. No reinforcement or visual cues. Just Me and doubt. Crap.

Oh the impending doom that sets in when staring at the white characters imprinted on black squared buttons. Cryptonite. Everything goes blank. Dexterity in my fingers out the window. I feel the short circuiting of my mind. Almost feel the heat and smoke rising. It is as if all abilities to function gone. Alien abduction. Then the rhetoric kicks in. You think you can write. This is not the gift you were given. You can't tell stories. Who are you kidding. And on and on it goes. Each time I sit down this is the ritual. Panic. Funny, when I am away these mini dialogues take place easily. Flowing like I have been doing this for years. Unfortunately, I don't write these down often enough. My thoughts are at least write some of these down it will affect frequency, if not intensity.

In the past just I would have these inner dialogues, mini clips and do nothing with them. Not recognizing the call of an undiscovered gift. It has be ringing for years. Just haven't been answering. This is my confidence, knowing that its call has happened. A gift lies within. The gift desires to entice me, inviting me to sit down, take up pen and write. These are the very tools I keep telling myself are the weapons of victory over my foe, doubt. Failure is apart of the game. A piece of advice I was given for golf to aid my quest.. You are going to hit ten bad shots during the round. It is not a question of if they come for they will-- it is how you recover. What you do with it. That's the difference maker.

Thank God for writing prompts.

These precious weapons forged of pure gold. Better than a sword. Manna from heaven. These put me on a course of relaxed thought. Fluid. Peace. Letting the mind go, giving the heart the wheel. It has given me a WIP. About 7500 words worth from one prompt. I was blown away. Pretty cool.

So doubt will come. My adventure is seeing to its demise. When it comes, overcome it. Teach it this is not its domain. To beat it, knock it down and around sending it hobbling down the road. Bye, Bye, baby. At least that is the theory.